My experience with gentlemen with ED
I’ve had two relationships with men that had ED. They were both on medication and both over 40. One of the gentlemen was very upfront about the issue stating his high blood pressure medicine caused him to either lose an erection quickly or he experienced trouble getting an erection. He didn’t want me to take it personally if he wasn’t getting aroused during foreplay. We preplanned our sexual encounters to be sure everything was in place for both of us to enjoy each other.
Even with the preparation, the sex lasted 5 to 10 minutes. He would smile sheepishly when he was done and apologize. I’d say it’s ok reassuringly and he would go to sleep. It really wasn’t ok, I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I could see he was embarrassed and I didn’t want to add to his discomfort. As the relationship continued I became resentful of all the preplanning and unfulfilling sexual encounters. He became defensive and didn’t show any affection for fear that he couldn’t perform if I wanted sex. The relationship eventually ended.
The other gentlemen did not acknowledge he had ED. He would try to overcompensate for the 5 to 10-minute sexual encounters by engaging in oral sex. That would have been fine, generally, but there was an air of desperation in his actions because he knew the oral sex wasn’t enough. I again tried to be supportive, told him it’s ok babe. The tension of disappointment and inadequacy filled the bedroom most of the time. Sex just wasn’t fun, playful and spontaneous anymore. Sadly, that relationship ended as well.
As women, we are taught to be nurturing and sometimes put our partners needs ahead of our own. The frustration of never being able to have a complete sexual release combined with the detachment and depression of our men with ED makes it very difficult to remain nurturing and understanding. If these gentlemen had a product that improved their performance and overall health I am sure they would have been more confident with me and in their everyday lives.
SJ from Pa
It' not you, it' not me, it's ed
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